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2008-12-30 19:25

I'm sick

They told me an apple a day keeps the doctor away/
I ate two, now I'm sittin here with the flu/
My eyes red, I'm ill and my face is all blue/
I dont know where I got it and I got no clue/
But my dick is bigger than WHOLE you/
Ladies & Gentlemen, that aint something new/
I mix gangsta rap with underground/
What you get is me sweepin' the hood with Master Sound/
I'm runnin' out of rhymes like the world does with resources/
And just like the Nazis ran out of forces/
We ridin' on bikes, no cars and no horses/
This aint a paradise, so no Pina Colada/
This aint mystery land, so this is not Nevada/
This is 127, a gangstas heaven/
We roam them bitches forever 24/7/
I've repeated the rhyme well, I understand/
As long as I'm here, this is not no mans land/
But it's none owned by the government, none by us/
We all got problems, and that's the fuckin' fuss/
I've had a bad day so dont push me/
I got this mood from eatin' your mom's pussy/
Now you understand, it's like a djungle down there/
It's like a big monster and trust me, I get scared/
Something big and hairy lookin' like King Kong/
Well you probably blow hair out of that fuckin' bong/
You're crazy and stupid, you need help/
Oh and before you diss me, go diss yourself/
But you cant diss me when you dont even know me/
So blow me, slowly/
You're retarded cuz you're lonely/
Go buy yourself a motherfuckin' friend/
But dont let it be a gun cuz that could be your end/'
So just shut up and stick this pistol barrel up your aaayyyzz/
And let me pee on your face for the next comin' four days/

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

The only time you feel alive is when you're dead

2008-12-30 21:00
hmm... ganska så wack faktiskt.. de nice att de finns flera som skriver på engelska o kör lite amerikaniserat.. men mkt träning behövs mannen - no offence, försöker ge konstruktiv kritik nu.

I'm runnin' out of rhymes


We ridin' on bikes, no cars


känns som att du dissar dig själv? inget positivt att man får slut på rim.. dock så märktes det ibland i texten, med tanke på valet av dessa..

I got this mood from eatin' your mom's pussy/


den e så självdissig att den talar för sig själv..

efter de raderna blev den lite mumlig, fattade inte va du ville säga, bytte stil till en mer "generell diss" sen..


Well you probably blow hair out of that fuckin' bong/


fattade inte den alls?




You're retarded cuz you're lonely/


för att... ?

sen var inte avslutet heller något speciellt +..

--

såå; träna mer mannen. mkt mer: rim, ev- punchlines (såg inte en enda), att INTE dissa sig själv, och helt enkelt make sense. - men jag komr checka in dina uppkommande texter (om det komr), för o se om du utvecklats. keep it up,


peaaace.
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Miwano - Expect me to...

2008-12-31 16:09
thx for feedback, nigga, i'll think of it, shit, thx
The only time you feel alive is when you're dead