Lifeless

Lifeless

There are times when I wake up in the middle of the night,
Turning off the light just to see the clearness in my mind.
Because there are times when the only light is total darkness,
When the only way to find yourself is to realize the hopelessness inside.
But I’m still there, beholding broken mirrors just to find the true me,
A million faceless pieces bleeding just for the sake of being me.
Can you see them in my actions, in my depraved personality?
Or do you sense them in my misled escape from my own anxiety?

I still wake up at nights with the saddest feeling in my heart,
Staring myself blind at the ceiling before closing my eyes to fall apart.
My hope begins to shatter along with the ability to socialize,
Forcing myself to isolation - face me and you’ll see it in my eyes.
Just turning my back again, nothing to see, nothing to feel,
Not now, not forever, just the mocking impossibility to heal.
So I’m turning my back again and focus on the sleep,
Living my life in borderless dreams where all and nothing is real...

Get it? I used to live, love the life in my sporadic living,
Happy places somewhere where I don’t remember that I’ve been.
Trying to remember and outline the silhouettes of the landscape,
But lately I’ve been letting myself go, I just know its all too late.
All the hope I had has grown into a great suffocating hate,
Ten years I’ve been trying to hunt me down just to feel the peace
Of being free, just to see myself in the mirror being me.
Still searching remedy through useless words... Just fucking kill me...