illerill - Half Dead

illerill - Half Dead

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I lay half dead
flat on the operation table
half dead
No salvation from an angel (x4)


I lay half dead, mute, flat, with a cracked head
One chamber from blasted, splat, dead
One bullet from a hole in my skull like the hole in my soul
Supposed to die I've been stolen my role
I've failed my own goal - to never let go
But my hope said fuck this and pain said hello
Now I lay here awaiting' the doc with the day shift
My brain is racing but I can only say if
If... only them folks hadn't spoken
If... only the rope hadn't broken
If... I'd only ignored all the love
If... I only lived two floors above this
I wouldn't be half dead, here, with a cracked head
This wouldn't have happened, or I'd be ashes
But it happened, it happened, I failed
The bane of my life - can't escape from the pain


I lay half dead
flat on the operation table
half dead
No salvation from an angel (x4)


They gave me my verdict and now that I've heard it
I am doomed forever, how did I deserve this?
I've done what I could but they spit on my work
This insufficiency has brought me a world
A world with no words, birds a world with no joy
Where broken hearts burn, burn but don't boil
Until I soak me in oil, till I'm feeding the fire
Till my mind collapse till that bleeding desire
I was granted this place where misfits are born
Where plants exist but blossoms are thorns
With a sky covered with darkened clouds
I roam these plains with crows hawking the crowd
But my striving is over, if you know what I mean
If you'd seen what I've seen then you'd know why I leave
They've deprived me my strength, quenched all my hope
Now the length of my life... is in the length of a rope


I lay half dead
flat on the operation table
half dead
No salvation from an angel (x4)


I wrapped the rope around my neck, pushed the stool with my feet
My pulse rose, my throat was choked, felt like a dog in his leach
This is for wrecked plans and all your lack of respect
I wanted to scream in pain, but couldn't catch my own breath
Speechless, I thought of jesus, how he accepted his death
When the rope suddenly cracked and was broken in pieces
Steaming mad, I thought of this dream I had
Where I wasn't suicidal or treated bad
It was a dream I had god seem to keep it that
That's that, now's now, lying flat on the floor
I remembered that dad kept a glock in his drawer
I got up, got it, put the shit to my brain
Fired six times but every click was in vain
Insane in the apartment I ran in despair
I ran and kept running till the edge of the world
Where I jumped then landed half dead on the earth


I lay half dead, mute, flat, with a cracked head
One chamber from blasted, splat, dead
One bullet from a hole in my skull like the hole in my soul
Supposed to die I've been stolen my role (x2)