Chippy - R.E.C (Rappers Equals Criminals)

What´s good?

I came accross your verse and figured I´d give you some feed on it.

Aigh, peep:

"Young boy tries to be rapper
Watching fifty Cent, now he gotta stack some cheddar
Not even knowing what it means, damn he don’t know better"

Decent opener. Flow´s decent. On point message.
That being said, it is fairly simple, predictable. But like I said, it works.

"Will he bring Yo’ MTV raps back
Now I know that, Commercial bullshit
Gave him the picture that he gotta be hard
A so called Big Man who goes hard with the card
Rob, Steal, Kill he will with a glass shard"

So-so bars. You should of worked more multies into this,
and fit more syllables in there, would of made it tighter.
And the wording´s off in a few places. These concepts could of been worked better.


"And now moving up to guns and knifes that he bought
With money stolen from his aunt"

This sounds/reads, funny. The wording´s off here.

I´da said: And now he´s movin up to guns n´ knives that he bought,
With some dirty funds, that he stole off his aunt!

"Now he want a flashy myspace page
Even though he’s underage
Feeling that young boy rage"

Best bars so far. This is aigh.

"But me, I try to reach the top, I ain’t scared of heights
Lyrically I will hunt you down on sight
You know that, Rappers are criminals right?
Yeah that’s Right!"

Ok bars. Not very hard hittin, it´s like you´re holding back.
Where the heat at?"

The overall concept is aigh, But it needs to be worked much better and
none of these bars reach their full potential, with the lack of solid wording and
Basically better rhymes, to be blunt. And you also need to step up your vocab and convo.
No hate, just pointers.

But I see there´s some enegry there. You just need to put
Iller words to it, ya digg? But you seem to be on your way
to elevation, just keep sharpening your skills up.
And get them to the point where you can do sum slashin´with it fo real, feel me?

Peace.

Respect! Im goin' to work on it some more. Thanks for your criticism, Much Love!