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2006-03-26 19:59

Poison pen

Trapped in the pitfall of insanity, condition bad as hell
Noneed for a jigsaw, there’re no bars in a padded cell
I’d died inside for a lost cause like mujahideens
Wishes of leaving this world bombed to smithereens
Walking the very slums, mentality of a fallen angel
Eating crumbs, looking up in the food chain in hatred
It’s an ice age, but I rock a metal grill with razor fangs
Worst fears confirmed, better drop the pills and land
With the intensity of three suns, I’m going after peons
After watching re-runs of bad shows going on for eons
Sick of it all, voices telling me to blow off kneecaps
Eating chunks of raw flesh like a PCP relapse
MCs are tongue less, DJs are armless, hip hop is dead
Did it out of pity and leaved messages dripping in red
You all soldiers, major disappointments, so live it up
There is no aftermath to a last laugh, so give it up
Devour all with oil and lights up the match, here catch
Have mercy, giving the privilege to start from scratch

Skulle bli så jävla tacksam om nån kunde ge mig ordentlig kritik.

Peace

"I'll get the mexicans to fuck up Xzibit again if he don't pimp my ride" - Celph Titled

2006-03-26 20:52
det värkar ju okey..jag är ingen höjdare på engelska så jag fatta typ hälften av orden..rimschemat va bra..
Jos lähestyt mua,pidä kieli suus ja pääs kii....

2006-03-27 16:21
Tackar!
"I'll get the mexicans to fuck up Xzibit again if he don't pimp my ride" - Celph Titled

2006-03-28 15:30
din stavning är ju lite off, likadant med grammatik.

gillade speciellt slut raden. den va tung, riktigt tung.
life is still a bitch....
but sometimes to unwind she lets me feel her tits.

2006-03-29 19:47
Tack SilverSoul, får la tänka lite mer på grammatiken.
"I'll get the mexicans to fuck up Xzibit again if he don't pimp my ride" - Celph Titled