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Tecken att du sysslat med MMA för mycket!!

Hobby & Fritid - Sport & Idrott

   

2005-01-05 18:20

Tecken att du sysslat med MMA för mycket!!

Vet inte riktigt hur många här som sysslar med MMA, men här är i alla fall några tecken om ni har gjort det för mycket!! =)

You size EVERYONE up right away to decide what would be the best way to "finish" them...

You start to name your pets and children after mma figures

Also using bjj postioning/holds/subs to achieve dominance in the bedroom dept when doing the wild thing with your girlfriend!!!

Worrying that your girlfriend will triangle you when you are in the missionary position and put one arm under!

When watching the Lewis vs Tyson fight you explained to your mates that Lewis would be a 'sucker' for a double leg.

When you watch tv & see "any" fighting, you tell everyone what "move" they could have used to win!

You check your footing in the bar to make sure you won't slip if you shuld have to leg kick someone.

You ALWAYS go for the double underhooks when giving a chick a hug.

When you explain to you girlfriend that she has you in her open guard while you are having sex.

When you see a name beginning with R, you instinctively pronounce it with an H in your head.

You shout instructions to movie characters during fight scenes.

You think a rear naked choke qualifies as huging your significant other / Everytime you hug your girlfriend from behind, you instinctively apply a rear naked choke.

Occasionally you will look at peoples legs and imagine the shock on their face if you gave them your hardest Thai kick.

Whenever a cool song comes on you imagine it being your entrance song.

Your wife gets pissed off because you scream at Buffy for fighting too fancy and not punching straight

When your friends play fight and they see you coming they immediately stop before you jump in.

When you are watching Pride or UFC and my wife who is doing her nails looks up and casually says "He better watch that triangle, and the guys moments later gets locked in a triangle choke to my friends amazement.

You get upset everytime you watch "hip hop" people "touch gloves" to greet one another.

You watch a porno and wonder why nobody tries to pass the guard

You see a man getting mauled by a bear on When Animals Attack and think "Man, the armbar is sooo there!"

When you have broken your dogs arms twice.

When you start to forget that spandex does and will always equal HOMO.

When you wear shirts that say super macho retarded stuff like "tap or snap" fight wear, blood and pain."

When you forget that MMA is a smaller sport then ping pong and actually think you should "renegotiate"

You test durability of clothes for grappling, kicking, punching and rolling when you buy them

If you're laying down on your side and your girlfriend tries to spoon you from behind and you tuck and get the knee bar.

If you constantly key lock things that are long at work like the rake and the shovel.

When you can no longer watch any Kung Fu movie, or flashy fight scene because you know that stuff doesnt work

Every time someone comes in for a hug you think they are trying to get the clinch...

When someone asks you if you dance and the only thing you can show them is your "Tito Dance".

Cyclones